London’s best toilets

Yes, you did read that title correctly; this post is all about toilets, albeit nice ones.

9 Conduit Street, W1S 2XG
Enter the multi-coloured spaceship and choose which egg-shaped pod will become your loo. The freestanding unisex toilets have been perplexing diners at Mayfair’s food, art and music venue Sketch for years but luckily there is usually an attendant on hand to show you how to work your alien cocoon. Once inside your mood-lit booth, you can enjoy the ambient sounds of birdsong before sprucing yourself up with a handful of citrusy Miller Harris hand soap.

Aqua Shard
32 London Bridge Street, SE1 9RY
Set on level 31 of the highest building in Western Europe, Aqua Shard offers a toilet experience with a spectacular view. Its floor-to-ceiling windows run right alongside the loo, so sufferers of vertigo may turn giddy at the thought of relieving themselves here, although if you are going to wet yourself, this is one of the best spots in London to do so.

Cellar Door
Zero Aldwych, WC2E 7DN
This tiny bar in Covent Garden used to be a public lavatory but its current facilities are the real conversation starter. The cubicle doors are see-through until locked, leaving self-conscious punters on the edge of their toilet seats, worried that they’re staring into a one-way mirror.

Crazy Bear
26-28 Whitfield Street, W1T 2RG
Push a mirror to enter the bathrooms in this Thai restaurant and cocktail bar and you’ll be surrounded by so many reflective surfaces that you’ll start to feel like a sideshow attraction in no time. The sinks are shared between the women’s and men’s toilets, so you may even make new friends in a soapy finger tangle.

329 Fulham Road, SW10 9QL
Slip away from brushing shoulder pads and hairspray with fellow clubbers at this 1980s boutique nightclub to spend some time with Margaret Thatcher in the loo. Maggie’s famous speeches firmly addressing the striking miners and the Falklands invasion are played on a loop here, which hopefully won’t leave you too tense to do your business.

Wembley WCs
Featuring in the Top 10 list of the world’s best public toilets, Wembley WCs stand at over five metres tall in the centre of a newly landscaped and pedestrianised part of Wembley, close to the stadium. The base is made of concrete to withstand high levels of usage but it’s above head-height that the magic happens; the structure transitions into a golden, water-cut screen, allowing for ventilation and natural light displays, making the entire thing look like a glowing lantern at night.

Is our list missing your favourite place to take a toilet break in London? Tell us over on our Facebook page or tweet us @WPJHeating!

There's more